It has always been much easier for me to write than talk. I can be talkative sometimes when writing. Somehow I have this ability til write about everything and nothing, but I have never found a way to use it. For the last couple of years or so I have tried to write stories alongside my drawings, but it doesn
t work the way I want to. Maybe I havent got what it takes to write stories, that’s ok, I can draw them instead. But what shall I do with my writing then?
A few people have pointed out to me, that I should do something with my ability to write my thoughts and others that I often write (too) much when sending e-mails. The downside with this is that I tend to use a lot of unnecessary words when especially writing in English, but I have learned over time to edit a lot of them out before posting.
Today I am sitting here thinking, and also feeling like dragged between to wills – both of them mine. Life has made me a bit hesitating to share my thoughts on one side – bad experiences-, and on the other side I really, really want to write, it is like a strong will on its own. Lately, I have been feeling like a coward, and have been so angry at myself. You should not care what other people think, but sometimes I can not help it. I do care. Referring to my earlier post My blog, my secret maby I am more affected than I first thought I was.
I can not do anything but still try to fight my demons, and hope that I one day gets strong enough. Because I know within my heart, that this is important to me, and maybe I can help someone else who also struggle to raise their voice, and say “Here I am!”.