Tuesday talk

It has always been much easier for me to write than talk. I can be talkative sometimes when writing. Somehow I have this ability til write about everything and nothing, but I have never found a way to use it. For the last couple of years or so I have tried to write stories alongside my drawings, but it doesnt work the way I want to. Maybe I havent got what it takes to write stories, that’s ok, I can draw them instead. But what shall I do with my writing then?

A few people have pointed out to me, that I should do something with my ability to write my thoughts and others that I often write (too) much when sending e-mails. The downside with this is that I tend to use a lot of unnecessary words when especially writing in English, but I have learned over time to edit a lot of them out before posting.

Today I am sitting here thinking, and also feeling like dragged between to wills – both of them mine. Life has made me a bit hesitating to share my thoughts on one side – bad experiences-, and on the other side I really, really want to write, it is like a strong will on its own. Lately, I have been feeling like a coward, and have been so angry at myself. You should not care what other people think, but sometimes I can not help it. I do care. Referring to my earlier post My blog, my secret  maby I am more affected than I first thought I was. 

I can not do anything but still try to fight my demons, and hope that I one day gets strong enough. Because I know within my heart, that this is important to me, and maybe I can help someone else who also struggle to raise their voice, and say “Here I am!”.

Bird

Published by Bird

I am Bird stretching my wings

2 thoughts on “Tuesday talk

  1. I really, really do recognize myself in all these feelings.

    What helps me a lot is to simply train my mind to block off all the thoughts I have about what people think about me and what I do. Just don’t let them in.
    (And to be honest, there are simply not that many who cares :P)

    You never know what people think about you. Even if you ask, they might lie. So there is simply no point, and if people don’t like you it is basically their own problem.

    All we do is creating our own, negative world, which only plays to our own disadvantage.

    How nice it would be to be disliked, but simply not care because it is your life and nobody elses 🙂

    Like

    1. Yes, I agree. And if people do say nasty things, it is often just trolls. If it is people close, maybe consider if that is someone you want in your life. Sometimes I lose track of what my goal is and fall back to old bad habits. Thanks for the reminder, and it helps to not be alone 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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